GayTruth Story: Who is your valentine? "Don’t ask… ahh… too late"

MYTH:

Revealing who is gay in the military and abolishing
"Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is a threat to order.

TRUTH:

We're in 2010 and still we're flabbergasted at the pure ignorance and assumption relating to homosexuality. They exist okay?  Whether you know someone is gay or not doesn't open up a Pandora's box of glitter and rainbow streamers.  Even in the military.

Gay people are just like anyone else bar ONE difference. This difference is a part of the normal spectrum of human sexual orientations. Any other argument is just untrue.  Having a minority sexual orientation (notice we NEVER use the word lifestyle?) doesn't make it a monstrous, determine their behaviour, professionalism intelligence or any other attribute.

Why does this fail to make sense to so many people?

Let's take the "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy. To us, blowing it into humanity's list of historically embarrassing nonsense laws is a no-brainer.  Instead, it is being blown out of proportion in a way that only inflates much of the gay mythology floating around in a "LaLa" Land of utter incomprehension.

Yet, sadly, conversations like the one below are still consuming oxygen:

We all know about the very brave Lt. Dan Choi who has spoken of the many other gay men and women who are fearful of coming out.  Why should this be relevant?  Here's one point we wish to make. Who isn't asked this question when working abroad, now that it is close to valentine's day:

• do you have a wife/husband or loved one who you're missing? 

It is a universal, human query.  The military is full to the brim with stories of widowed wives, sharing photos of families and making that all important contact with the person you wish to spend the rest of your life with.  These conversations are a part of human interaction, regardless of whether you're a military professional, an accountant or making elevator conversation.  Yet, a gay person in the gay military is required to be mute.  Why?  Because the people who put forward DADT were/are ignorant on the topic of homosexuality.  They think it is a behaviour.  A lifestyle.  A choice and perversion.

Let's all be honest here if we want to touch on sexual behaviour and behaving unprofessionally.  There are too many instances to count of straight men in the military and their sexual activities (we won't offer any linkage here.  Google the topic or ask a former officer.  You'll find plenty of material).  This particular writer knows a heterosexual navy friend who's captain allowed his unit to lure women onto the captain's chair at port as long as he "didn't catch you".  No need to give the glory details, but this trophy heterosexual "behaviour" surely is an open and shut case for how destructive straight people are to the armed forces right?  Of course, we're joking.

Nevertheless, the people who point their fingers at a gay military professionals aren't.  They assume sexual misconduct by default, which is insulting and stupid.

This takes us to our latest Gay Truth story.  We need more examples of the truth.  Not middle aged homophobic "outsights".  We give you Michael Anthony,  an Iraq war veteran.  He has an interesting story about how DADT is being used in a way that it was probably never intended for:

My name is Michael Anthony,  I am an Iraq war veteran and having spent six years in the Army, at the age of twenty-three, I have spent more than a quarter of my life in service to this country.  I have four older brothers and an older sister, all of whom have been in the military: Air Force, Marines and Army.  My father and both my grandfathers were in the military.

Hailing originally for a small sheltered town just south of Boston Massachusetts, I say this in all earnestness: the only gay people I know have all been in the military.  This is not a joke or some talking point, it’s literal.  Generals, Commanders and Civilians can talk all they want, but the fact of the matter is, the only gay friends I've had have all been in the military, in fact, my only experience of gay people (outside of the military) is when I once watched and episode of the TV show Will and Grace (it was kind of funny).

For the policy known as DADT, there is one thing people often forget.  People forget that the policy doesn’t preclude gay people from entering the military it just precludes them from talking about their homosexuality.  In short, someone can be gay in the military; they just can’t talk about being gay in the military.

If people are already in the military and gay—from my former unit alone I know close to a dozen—what is it that people are afraid will happen with the repeal of DADT?  Are people afraid that the day after DADT is rescinded; gay soldiers are going to walk in wearing a feather boa and buttless fatigues?  The uniform policy will still be in effect so we can cross that option out.  Are people afraid that it’s going to hurt troop morale?   The Military suicide rate is at a thirty year high having consistently risen for the past five years, with eighteen veterans killing themselves everyday (according to the VA) so it seems like it can’t get any worse.

With everything said, there is a negative aspect to repealing DADT.  Having been in the military all my adult years, my peer group is filled with Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans.  Several of these war veterans having done two or three tours, have sworn that they will never go back to Iraq or Afghanistan.  Upon further questioning on how they plan to get out deployment if called, their answer is simple: “don’t ask, don’t tell,” expounding further, they say that if they’re called up, they will simply kiss a member of the same sex—in front of their commander.  So how is repealing DADT going to affect the military?  The answer is simple…my friends who jokingly suggested using DADT as a way to get out of a deployment are now stuck going to Iraq or Afghanistan.

And please don’t even get me started on the escapades that go on overseas.  But hey, what happens in Iraq stays in Iraq…ahh not quite.

Michael Anthony is the author of MASS CASUALTIES: A Young Medic’s True Story of Death, Deception and Dishonor in Iraq (Adams Media, October 2009). The book is drawn from the personal journals of Anthony during the 1st year he spent serving in Iraq.  It is a non-partisan look at some of the escapades that go on behind the scenes in Iraq.